Blogging on a bus

Last time I was on a coach the only excitement was a family pack of Chewits and the opportunity to make eyes at the boy in 5th form I fancied.

How times have changed in the last twenty  fifteen  ten years.

I am currently on the Bolt Bus on the way to Washington with my Mother writing this blog using wi-fi. That just blows my teeny tiny girl mind. Where is it even coming from? Heaven?

Unfortunately we are sat right at the front like a pair of Nannas. I tell Mother that everyone knows the cool people always sit at the back of the bus, but she says I don't really want to be next to the loo and smell wee for four and a half hours just to look good. Beside, she reminds me-I am at the age now where I should be more concerned with under eye wrinkles and pension plans than still trying to pretend I'm 25. And then she makes me put my seatbelt on.

I am ignoring her and going into Facebook and Twitter overload, as if I can inhale youth through the screen via the online updates of others decades younger than me.

The Bolt bus is not being entirely true to it's moniker. The North East United States is being lashed by a monsoon so we're driving pretty slowly, rather than bolting. At this rate we'll be lucky to get there while Obama is still in The Oval Office.

Still, props to the Bolt, which gains more points for legroom that it loses for being bright orange. It's much as I imagine the Megabus could be, if they took that fat twat in a hat off the side of the coach and employed drivers who weren't alcoholic ex cons.

When it comes to the wi-fi, Time Warner could take a lesson from The Bolt Bus. If they can get the internet right on a bus travelling 50 MPH North on the motorway, could you please try harder in my apartment, which stays in the same place?



*